lying to yourself in your bed
to lose even the things that become part of you
Within the first ten minutes towards freedom he rides back to workplace to drop off the keys which had been mistook. Das Investment holds a cold one or two. Migrant workers, with their first coffees, they manifest the rules of their fatherland. German moustaches still asleep, he is all cowboy about the phone in his pocket.
if the following were to continue and eventually draw an arc:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
it shall become a photo of urination
this guy blasts loud music all day when he works and i can barely hear myself think. I believe it's in reality the multibillion record industry that's pumping out these giant works of his.
I'm reminded of the I'm-a-perfume-guy at lunch who sat at my table and I couldn't taste my food, smell the summer breeze
As it put on a spurt towards fucking off the sun fast approached the maritime horizon upon which a mound of cumulungus clouds were stacked. Today’s orb would be obscured prematurely and the temperature, too, plunge with it; he turned around to walk back to base while the orange still shone on the puff of his back. The speakers that lined the seaside played don’t look back in anger rendered in piano. While he paced in long strides swinging his molluscoid arms, couldn’t help but look back to the sun much like a dog taken away from its bone. Finally his mobile device went black and he froze mid-stride into a pillar of double-helix salt.
with synchronization of inidcated time
maybe the world is like homogenized milk
incessant ringing of the deceased's phones
i would no longer be 37 then, strapped in my seat as the 777 maneuvered around Russian airspace, towards the coming sunrise
the new generation:
one utz flavor replaced shrimp crackers, steamy hopang and pizza sticks
the quality of the wine, don’t mention
meal portion reduced by a third
one thing to look forward to was another cigarette with ___ one day at another sundown across the skypiercers
where they do not believe that all popes since st peter, including peter, are illegitimate
you spawn onto a verdant clearing. in every direction through a vast veil of fog see nothing but the trees in the distance. still air don't conduct sound. it's all muted. no sooner does the silence shoot shivers down your spine than you realize that you are deaf.
tripe-shaped clouds
gordal olives
cute vehicles of destruction
The desktop clock, which is shaped like a clock tower, has been around for as long as I can remember. Last fall when I last visited here it had malfunctioned, and he asked me to fix it, change the battery.
The clock had all but stopped again; here again, alone, in my parents' home, I search for another AA. The second needle of this paltry clockwork starts to tick again after the replacement, as though his room resumes life.
His desk faces out the eastern window. In the distance is the shore, where the sun or the moon sometimes rises. The view he loved so well. The many photos he took, posted, sent to me via messenger. I have a collection of these photos from throughout the seasons and the years.
Those who rely on the angels a little too often. I disembodied my father from his suffering body if because his faculty to verbalise his interiority had become irretrievable. Now the alternative timelines are as relentless as the toss and turn when the night befalls sleepless upon me. I am become the sea of remorse.
Stone the mirror of the matrices that have spawned my being into his life, as I am unable to rescue him from the confines of life support. Instead curse myself out of it all. To indulge in all the earthly delights that he is deprived of as he lies in hospital bed not unlike I used to the very first days on Earth. In a diaper with my spine against gravity, away from the sun, away from the cypress and the soil. Months since he had tasted anything but the sterile stench and dried disease hour after hour. The pandemic measures still in place; no visitors but the sole nurse, a duty I relieved myself after 30 hours, for my convenience and the livelihood of some unconscionable wage worker.
Life without Music. Delicacies. Soothing fragrances. Without family. His last days were deprived of all that made who he had been. Nobility, mobility, sweet tooth, books, internet, eye for the celestial bodies, the voices of his own family.
My striving for extraordinary life is now reduced to the lay and the vulgar. Like most of you, whom I despise for your indolence and poverty of touching imagination. I am become like you. And here my own narcissism dissolves into self-hatred. Fuck you, I shall collapse onto you, break myself down and drown you in saltwater.
And from e to a once the sun-kissed silver is turned to gold under a duvet of cloud ready to fall against the wishes and hopes of foolish prayers still we lay together half conscious on a raft, in mourning w fragments to be found on slow collusion courses. Fences divide, provide vision for touch, in place of embrace. But grace converts divisions into dreamcatchers.
Autumnal flowers in bloom are to be left alone, but exposed and collected as tokens of those to be discarded. This is the first and the final fall for spring, for in the future fall will be fall and nothing but fall.
And though i see you in everything, as any given day, today i am but two, in abstinence from everything but you
In moonlight
I am feral in a cage
Feline in waiting
For capture
Find me
Domesticate me
I will maul your favorite parts
Feed your darkness
Maul your favorite parts
Again I'm not dreaming
Tonight
Japanese pictures, Paris Croissant
Cartoon characters
Golden ice caps
Green pyramids
Norwegian winter
Mornings and dull knives
Having fetched your snack from an in-station bakery, you rush outside to catch the tram. A stranger stops you but there’s no shared language between the two. You try but communication seems impossible in the time crunch; you have to go and the helpless face of this stranger is imprinted on you
You wait outside the hipster coffee shop for your turn to enter and order. You’re up next and, while the two customers inside take their time, one of the baristas makes a knowing eye contact with you; you blink in response as if to say “hello”. When you enter, your flat white is already there, and you are touched. Smile at the perfectly heart-shaped foam